I swear, blogging has been the only outlet for me of late-- to be serious. I'm semi-rarely serious in person, and it sucks because it just shows how incapable I am of holding emotions such as fear, doubt, failure, and worry. I live on optimism, don't get me wrong; it's just I'm always keen about what goes on within me emotionally and internally.
Today I had a serious discussion with an older friend of the family and she told me about life after college, that being the last one of my parents' children to actually have went-- it's my duty to watch out for my family, to motivate them to do better, to support them when the tides aren't in their favor, but most importantly, to love them. She was telling me about her relationship with her brothers and sisters in Italy, and how their strong bond rectifies the long distance between them. Case in point: love your family & your friends no matter how irritating and stubborn they are. They're the only ones in life actually worth working for.
Anyway, how am i supposed to watch out for everyone else when lately I can't even seem to watch out for my own self...I know that I am not always the most open and honest person...but I do mean well. It's tough when you feel as if the weight of the world is on your shoulders and you have no one to turn to that will understand you. Am I really that hard to understand? I think I am an understanding person who would help out someone I loved regardless of their situation or circumstances...I would go to war for my people (friends & family) in a heartbeat...but its funny how some of them can turn their backs on you when the chips are down.
The only way to go is up..
Whoo... that felt good. I'm just warming up in life right now--the straight A's, the profound accomplishments, the excellent work ethics (STFU haters lol), & the opportunities ahead.
Be easy.
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