Ok.. so say you’re a lady and you’ve just had a nice date – he took you to dinner at DiGiornio’s lol, bought you mixed drinks at a nice jazz club, copped a feel during UP - and you decide to go home with the fellow. But in the bedroom, just before that magical moment of you not letting him take your bra off, you see this assault on taste: the Condom Pillow, a pillow that looks just like a LifeStyles condom in the wrapper.
There are a lot of problems here. Most notably, who uses LifeStyles? That’s the kind they gave away for free at the AIDS Fair in college. But the Condom Pillow also has a few surprise features to make it just that much tackier.
From the product website:
There are two pockets- one on either side. The smaller one is used to hold actual condoms, and the larger one holds an over-sized fabric condom. And it’s real stretchy too!
Back to you, date-lady: what is the gentleman’s proper response for explaining to you why he has a giant condom-holding condom pillow on his bed:
A) “Oh, I got it ironically. I only rawdog.”
B) “My sister bought it for me.”
C) “It’s actually really handy – when I wear one of these real condoms, it will protect you from any diseases I have, and when you wear this giant fabric condom, it will protect me from seeing you while we have sex!”
No really, that is the only potential use suggested for the fabric condom:
Don’t get me wrong, if you’re a guy, this product is hilarious.
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