It's crazy how much can happen in a few months...even in a week or a day for matter. This past month so much has happened to me, it's insane. When I look back on it, it felt like it was forever. Man Calvin, when will you fucking learn... I really don't know why I am the way I am. It's weird. I'm so used to being dependent on someone that I tend to forget what's really important in my life which in turn causes me to lose focus. I've always said I'm going to be more independent blah blah blah... which is why I think life seems so hard right now. Sometimes you feel alone, like no one seems to understand you and it's tough to be in such a big world and feel so small, but I always ended up falling back on someone new and in the end, getting left behind. This is the first time I think I have really been honest to myself. It's sad-- I know, but I have to do what I gotta do. I'm pretty much trying to keep myself as distracted as possible. Times like these, I love to run (whether its from my problems or an actual jog--hey, I gotta be honest here). It's as if I'm running away from everything for a bit without really running away. Wow that sounds lame. But on the real, I'm trying to better myself and actually stick to my goals without having to lie my way through trials and tribulations. I have hurt a lot of people throughout my life, and I can say I have been hurt too--but two wrongs definitely don't make a right and in the end I only have myself to blame. I am drinking some Yellow Tail Shiraz wine and watching the NBA Finals & the Phillies game...and working on my blog...I would like to make a toast...a toast to a new beginning...truly....
Friends, Family, if you're reading... know that I truly love you all & and if I ever hurt you in any way, which I am sure i have, I sincerely apologize.
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