LoveStoned?

What's good everybody? Been quite an emotional roller coaster throughout these past few days. A lot of it has been self-conflict, but nevertheless, it is conflict. Throughout the past, damn, 4 years, I have basically been in a relationship, having met a girl when I was at freshman at the university. Having spoken to some friends the other night, as we went off on a drunken tangent, we discussed love and if there was really someone out there for everyone. Now, I didn't really add much to the conversation except the occasional laugh and calling out bullshit lol. Anyway, as I have pondered the idea, I have stumbled with the idea of true love because its like should true love be hard or just the way? Because from my experiences, I have experienced love, but have fucked it up, anyway, I have experienced love but have not found it easy. Now you may have found it easier to just walk away, but I have not found it one bit easy as I reach to obtain full atonement. I had a good girl once, who I definitely loved with all my heart...but I guess personally, I took so much for granted that it just wasnt able to work. Not just because I fucked up, but more because I was unable to really dig inside of myself and find the underlying meaning of what it meant to be me. Anyway, after 4 years of pretty much being with someone, I find it totally hard to even begin to approach life without that person. It sucks because I still have feelings for this person but is it too late to try? I mean, how does someone really recieve a pardon for things they have done wrong in their life. With love, I just feel that it is a constant struggle..a beautiful struggle. I don't really know.. it just sucks not having that same person to turn too to just talk or hold. It's fucking tough man... and if you have not experienced this, cool, and Im sorry for opening up like this, but this is my fucking blog lol. I have become very involved with understanding people and working to maintain relationships with people, all while remaining objective to whom the person is. A lot of people feel that they know me because of some things that I have done, or some things that they may have heard... but all in all...not very many people actually know the real me, who I am and what I see and feel and hear. I know that I am a good friend... not a great friend...but I'll be the first one to go to war for a friend of mine. I know I easily forgive people.I am a protector. I am some times a comedian because I am a funny motherfucker. I can be a liar. I can be a theft. I can be romantic. I can be serious. I get mad. I hurt. I cry. I love. As I look to further understand myself and people, I look to constantly better myself as a human. People label me a bad guy! Haha... I am actually far from that. Insecure at times...because I am unsure of myself at times... but can definitely be the life of any party and my friends know that for sure. I got love for my peoples and they know who they are and hopefully everything will be everything real soon.

I'mma post up some for shit on here real quick.

Show out too my man A. from New HampSHIRE--where everyone is your brother lmfao. Hope you had fun in NY my dude--see you again soon.

Be easy everyone. Check out the postings... comment...do whatever... it is what it is.

Be easy...

JUST STONED.